My Birthday...

My birthday is coming up and I don't know how I feel about that.
Actually I know exactly how I feel about it.
I am depressed.
It isn't the fact that I am getting older that is bumming me out.
It is the fact that I am getting older and don't have a lot to show for it.
I find it all very frustrating.
It is hard to for me to comprehend the number of missteps I have taken in my life.
Would I trade where I am today (and all the experiences I have had, friends I have made, things I have discovered) away for a chance to start fresh???...I don't have an answer. And that frightens me. So I am very depressed about my birthday coming up...

But in the spirit of sharing here is my Froogle wish list: Karmi's Birthday Wishlist

I am planning a trip to Japan.
It is an impulse thing. A year ago I thought about going to South Korea, but that seem like right. It felt off. But Japan, that is where I want to go. I even started a blog about it. I'll post that link a little later. Want to be able to accomplish something worthwhile before I die (wouldn't it suck balls if I died tomorrow?).

Some Changes...

Once again I am reworking this blog.
To those who visit frequently, I am sure you have noticed that I do not post as much as I used to.
As I have been focusing more on my artwork I have found less time for this blog or at least less time to pursue the subject as in depth as I would like.

This does not mean an end to the Naked Mistress, I'll just be a little less naked...all the time. I will continue to post photos from time to time as well as an occasional video. I have kept my links the same because those people inspire me and they are my 'net' friends. There come a point in the future when I no longer have this blog, but I will give a proper goodbye to the small community who enjoys me.

That place of Zen

How does one achieve balance?
The balance of self, family, career.
I am thunderstruck, overwhelmed by the immense pressures of life.
I cannot find that balance. Something always gets lost in the shuffle.

I am a woman in need of emotional intimacy.
Nothing superficial, the real deal. A place of safety and warmth and trust.

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I found my book "The Complete Kama Sutra" today.
It is really a fascinating read.
No pictures at all. This book is completely unabridged and covers everything on love, sex, courtship, fidelity,...you name it.
I also have a book on Tantra by Osho. Also a worthy read.
Reading is joy when you find the right book.

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I still need to play Final Fantasy XII and complete Final Fantasy X...and finish two paintings and make more jewelry.
I tell ya, this art biz is very hard. very humbling. but I must move forward.

Why I hate bars and clubs...

Went out last night and remembered why I don't go out...
I get tired of dealing with divorced, bitter, middle-aged (40 -60) men who feel they have been wronged by women and think that because I am aesthetically challenged that I should feel honored they are talking to me.
When in reality I wish they would just move the fuck on because they are spoiling my evening.
Oh yeah, and these twats are drunk too, so they are always talking a bunch of bullshit that I don't give a fuck about.
Oh, oh, oh and don't let me refuse to give them my name because then they get all defensive and talk about how they ain't in to dating and they ain't dating anymore.
Again, WHY. DO. I. GIVE. A. FUCK???????
Fool, I'm not giving you my name because that's on a need to know basis, and your ass don't need to know!
Too much motherfucking drama when I all I want to do is enjoy the company I came with and the music.


I simply had to share my rage...RAGE...SHOW ME YOUR RAGE!!
^-----did anyone else see the Metal Gear Solid 4 trailer???
I liked it!!! I must play that game (when it comes out)