Harvest Moon, September, Time for a Change

I have one too many blogs.

I still like this blog and I want to do something interesting with it.
So, I've decided I'm going to be making some changes in my life and I will chronicle them here.

I will post about my feelings, my body, my soul, my life.
The good, the bad, the ugly. Why?...why not!?

Seriously, I made this decision because I have a lot to tell about my life and maybe some one will find my blog interesting and comforting and funny and sad. It is real, it is life. You don't find too many older bloggers that just blog about what it is like being a person approaching midlife and still not feeling settled. Or how to live with and deal with aging parents, and chronic illness...

About me, I am a black woman.
I am a daughter.
I am an Artist.
I am a Storyteller.

Glad to share myself with you.

Porn Training Center

Hello,

I must share this wacky dream I had the other night. I dreamt of "Porn Training  Center."
Basically, this place is school on how to perform in porn movies. I don't think I was student but I was given a tour of the facility.

There was a floor just for BDSM, there was an all girls wing, and all sorts of places to practice. The practice area for BDSM floor was like gymnasium. The all girls wing practice area reminded of dance studio/spa

The majority of the faculty and staff were white (of course), but they were very excited at the idea of having a black woman join the school as a student.  The woman on the All Girls area were very happy to see me and wanted to participate in one the classes. They kept urging me to take my top off and join them on Girl on Girl make out practice session. There was also a class on oral sex and fisting going on in the same area.

On the BDSM floor, the tour guide wanted to know if I would be interested in training to be a Dominatrix. Then things get a little fuzzy in the dream.

---------------------------

Rise and shine, just waking up or just going to sleep....

Fat Tuesday...

Mardis Gras!
Happy Mardis Gras!!

Oh, I feel like this year is slipping by.
So many wonderful celebration days have come and gone so quickly.
The Lunar New Year, Mardis Gras, Valentine's Day.

The other day, I started looking through some old photos...15 or 20 years old.
I wish I knew then what I know now about life, love, and myself.

I wasted so much time on unworthy people, trying to fit some mold and be someone I wasn't. My youth was wasted. After looking at the photos, I became very blue and maudlin about life. I started questioning who I was and what I am doing now; questioning the meaning of my life and how I fit into this world.

xoxo

Feeling a little blue...

Hello,

I know I wait so long to post again.
Not that my life is so interesting, sometimes I just don't know what to say.

It is a New Year, which means it is time for a fresh perspective.
I work very hard to stay positive. Keeping my chin up when I want to crawl into a hole
and die.

I want my free spirit back.
I want to be in that happy place where I felt good about things.
I'm tired of always thinking about despair.

Let me be surrounded by beautiful people and beautiful things,
warm hearts and kind words.

I will repair my damaged wings and take flight and soar above it all.

This is my body.

The container for my soul.

It carries my heart,

It carries my spirit.

It is solid but easily broken.

I have lived in this place for many years,

I hope to live in here for many more.

We have been through a lot together,

and I cherish and relish this earthly vessel.

It has served me well,

we will survive.

My body is beautiful,

it is mine.

It is fine.

xoxo,

~K