Sunday, December 16, 2012

I wish I had wings...

Hello Friends,

Today was going really great and then.....
Later in the week, I'm attending a Christmas party. This party is being thrown by a family member's place of work.
Naturally, I start to try and figure out what to wear.

and then I remember I am probably too big for most of the outfits I think would be cute.
My breast are on the verge of being out of control big; my hips and thighs pulled  sneak attack...let us not even discuss my "Buddha" belly.

I hate how my body is changing in ways I can't control.
I hate this world and it takes pleasure in making me feel like shit for how body naturally is.
I hate that I have outfits I wanted and now can't because my hormones refuse to cooperate.
Hell, I hate that I am not in my 20s anymore. I hate how I didn't realize how beautiful I was in my 20s.

I feel so unworthy of anything: of love, of life, of peace, of happiness.

Gosh...
today was going so well...and then..

I should get to bed but I'm too upset to relax and sleep.

xoxo,
K

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